Abba Father, Lord and Holy One of heaven, I’m sorry.
I see in the lives of David, Abraham and Elijah that complicity starts with doing nothing. It begins with realising others are being abused and with choosing to step back, deciding to not intervene, resolving to stay right out of the situation. But, actually, that’s not staying out at all. It’s siding, by default, with the abuser and perpetrating an alliance with the spirit of abuse, Belial. The longer I do nothing, the more time I choose to be a silent observer of another’s torment, the deeper my cooperation with Kronos becomes.
I’m sorry for doing nothing. Forgive me.
I see too that, as time progresses and my complicity with Kronos grows, my trust of You, Father, dwindles. Instead of operating in faith, I protect myself with small deceptions. And instead of repenting when I see the serious consequences of those lies and half-lies, deliberate ambiguities and concealments of critical information, I repeat the deceptions. I double-down in rationalising my behaviour. My heart grows harder, especially when my deception has brought me great reward.
Then, when I am tested, I have nothing to fall back on but myself. I don’t have You because I’ve chosen not to trust You. The enemy tests me and betrays me at one and the same time. And I sabotage myself.
In desperation I reach out for You, even while I’m still holding hands with the spirit of abuse. Kronos retains his hold on me because I’m so afraid to let go and risk the fall into Your arms. I’m not sure You’ll catch me. So I’m stuck with and in Time because I am so uneasy about unconditional surrender to You. I want to choose to walk in the eternal now of Your presence but the implementation of that choice is beyond my capability. Help my unbelief.
Lord, there are times when I’m tempted to agree with my boss and my superiors, and to speak outside of my authority just like the false prophets did. Just as they knew what Ahab expected of them to keep their positions, I’ve known just what has been expected of me. Lord, I repent of the times that fear kept me from speaking truth in Your name, when it caused me to speak deception in Your name, when it prompted me to keep silence. I repent of the times I dishonoured Your name. I ask Jesus to empower my words of repentance and grant me the courage to be like Micaiah and stand against the crowd.
Lord, strengthen me to keep covenant with You and no other.
In Jesus’ faithful name. Amen