Heavenly Father, there are moments—brief and fleeting—when I sense I’m in prison but the bars are hidden from me. For just a short time, I see the cage for what it is and I realise how comfortable it’s been made. My fetters are invisible and I’m chained by habits of consolation and coping mechanisms that allow me to dispense with You as my true refuge and support. The veil lifts from my eyes for a few seconds before I return to a life blinded and distracted, my memory affected, my discernment fogged.
I need Your help so badly but I’ve been so ravaged, I don’t know what to ask. I don’t know what’s been taken from me, so how can I ask for it back? I don’t know what I’ve forgotten—or even if I have forgotten—so I don’t know what I need to be reminded of. Can You please request the Holy Spirit to intercede for me about all these unknowns?
I don’t know what lies the enemy has told me. I don’t know what falsehoods I’ve accepted as my truths. I don’t know if I’ve been subjected to gas-lighting.
I just know I’ve been abused and that it continues. I know people say crazy-making things that make me doubt my own sanity. I know people harm me while saying it’s for my good.
And when I go to You, Lord, then truthfully and honestly, I’m disappointed. You don’t seem to help me as You’ve promised. There’s got to be a reason. I’m guessing that it’s those invisible chains, that gilded cage. Something in me is in agreement with the spirit of abuse. But the conflict is so great I can’t see it. So, even though part of me is unwilling or afraid to move out of the enemy’s camp and forgo allegiance to him and his lies, I ask for Your help to change me. I ask Your help to cancel my commitment to him and to bring back what he’s stolen, even those things he’s convinced me were never mine but were his. Lord, allow me to know what is rightfully mine. Where the enemy has convinced me that his evil is actually good—or for my good—tear down his mind control.
Lord, I am so far from understanding what I need to ask You to get out of this trap, I can only pray:
Help me see truth.
Help me recognise abuse.
Help me discern gas-lighting.
Help me uncover the lies and see myself through Your eyes.
Help me put away my false refuges.
Help me revoke my covenant with Death and with Hell.
Help me rescind every spiritual pact not sealed by Your Holy Spirit.
Help me hope in You, trust in You, have faith in You and the power of Your Son’s atonement.
In His name, the name of Jesus of Nazareth and through the power of His cross. Amen.
Thank you to Lorna Skinner of www.riversofmusic.co.uk for the background music.