The spirit of rejection is a genius at getting us to flee into a false refuge. And I mean that in the literal, original sense of the Latin word ‘genius’, a watching spirit who guides and governs a person from birth.

Jesus, in warning people not to belittle children—and probably disabled children at that—said, ‘See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father.’ (Matthew 18:10 ESV)

Jesus spoke of guardian angels, the Romans of guardian spirits. The angels of Jesus are protective, the genii of the Romans are possessive. They are familiar spirits—and for some individuals and families, the spirit of rejection hasn’t just got a home with them, it’s got a nest.

Every time it looks like we might break free of captivity, we’re going to experience an episode of sufficiently severe rejection to tempt us employ one of our coping mechanisms. And the problem with these coping mechanisms is that, like the habit I mentioned back in Session 23 of going to coffee whenever I was disappointed, they simply reinforce our complicity with the spirit of rejection.

All the classic fear responses are actually false refuges.

  • Flight. We can flee from rejection—but it’s always going to follow us. That’s the way it operates. We think we can escape by ducking into a refuge, but that’s precisely its plan.
  • Fight. Remember the saying, ‘What we resist persists’? We can try fighting this spirit but we won’t get far. Beating it into submission in our own strength isn’t likely to succeed. And if that does, it will soon be back with a band of allies.
  • Freeze. We can just stop and hope our statue-like stillness is going to save us. But all this does is play into the hands of rejection’s ally, the spirit of wasting.
  • Forget. We can try to ignore rejection. We can hope the pain will go away if we sideline it and don’t think about it. But, behind our backs, it’s just growing monstrously big.
  • Forestall. We can pre-empt rejection by anticipating it and getting in first. This enables us to pretend we weren’t rejected; but it doesn’t heal the core wounding of our hearts.
  • Flatter. We can try to prevent rejection by fawning over those we want to accept us. But friendships grow strong and vigorous through honesty, not flattery.

We need to remember that, what we fear, we create.

Job said: ‘What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.’ (Job 3:25 NIV) He reminds us that fear is like a magnet, drawing to us the very thing we dread.

So, instead of these inadequate methods of dealing with rejection, we need to:

  • Face it squarely.

Renounce the false refuge and ask Jesus to help us face it full on.

This is Grace Drops and I’m Anne Hamilton. May Yeshua HaMashiach help you face down rejection today.

Thank you to Lorna Skinner of for the background music.

Understanding false refuges is the single most important step towards dealing with the obstacles barring you from coming into your calling. Hidden in the Cleft explains false refuges in more detail and is available as a paperback or an ebook.

Many people, on recognising the spirit of rejection operating in their lives, try to bind it and cast it out. Yet that’s not what Jesus did when He encountered it. In fact, as the rejected Cornerstone, He set up His church in the very territory dominated by this spirit. We are called to learn to master it. Dealing with Azazel: Spirit of Rejection is available as a paperback.